you know…people say to me, “robace, you should leave chicago. you don’t seem happy there”.
am i just seeing it differently from other people? its seems so easy when other people say it, but yet i’m still here. sure, my mom would be ok with it, and sure she would want me to pursue what’s best for me…but i don’t know if i can just leave her like that. i mean she just lost her life partner. but not wanting to leave my mom by herself is just one of the things. its a lot of other factors as well. i grew up here, yet i haven’t lived back here for more than a week since high school. that was 13 years ago.
i guess growing up here wasn’t that much fun for me. its like i avoided this place for so long and now i’m being punished for it. maybe i’m supposed to be back here to face my old demons. i don’t know…but i will say this…its not all that bad here. its just that i feel so out of my element, that’s all. i’ve met some great people out here and i’m starting to appreciate the area of bucktown. but there’s still this whole gentrification difference that i just can’t seem to get. i need my korean peeps.
i feel like i’ve got to give this town a shot. i mean IT IS chicago. the 3rd largest city in america, right? it can’t be all that bad. i guess if i found a job out here, my perspective about this place might change. i just got to get off my lazy ass and do it….and my runners toes aren’t helping that much either…..
3 weeks after the marathon and their still like this.
i know i can always count on you guys…